Ghosting is becoming way too common.
If you’re not familiar with the term, ghosting happens when someone cuts off communication without explanation. One moment they’re in your life, and the next, it’s radio silence. Like a ghost, they vanish.
It happens in friendships. Instead of having a difficult conversation about a conflict, your friend ignores you.
It happens after job interviews. Instead of telling candidates that they didn’t get the job, the employer doesn’t respond to follow-ups.
And, of course, ghosting has its well-known place in dating. You meet someone, go on a few dates, and then…nothing. No text, no call. Just an abrupt, unexplained exit.
Before I go any further, a huge caveat: If you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship, cutting off contact may be the healthiest and safest choice.
But outside of that? Ghosting is a disservice to both you and the other person.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable to tell a friend that they hurt you, to explain to a job candidate that they’re not the right fit, or to tell a partner that you want to break up.
But it’s far worse—downright cruel—to ghost. Ghosting puts all the emotional baggage onto the other person, leaving them to wonder: What did I do wrong? Was it something I did or said? If they’re like most people, they’ll comb over the last conversation, picking apart every word for clues.
Let me be clear: “Don’t ghost” doesn’t mean you become glued to your phone, responding instantly to every message. Life is busy, and no one can keep up with endless notifications. That’s not ghosting—that’s just being human. The issue isn’t about lagging replies; it’s about going dark completely.
So why do people ghost? More often than not, it’s a way to dodge discomfort. Ghosting becomes a quick escape, sparing them from having to say “no” directly or face the challenge of handling conflict with care.
Healthy conflict is a source of growth. It’s something to be embraced, not erased.
Discomfort, from a place of care, is one of the biggest gifts you can give to someone. Looking back on my life, some of my most important growth moments happened when someone shared inconvenient truths with me. And even though it stung, that short-term pain was followed by long-term gratitude to the person who told me what I needed to hear.
This isn’t an invitation to be a jerk. There’s a huge difference between honesty and cruelty. But even if the truth makes someone uncomfortable, it’s better than leaving them in the dark.
So next time you feel the urge to ghost, instead consider saying “I’m feeling hurt, and here’s why” or “We hired another candidate, and here’s why” or “I don’t feel a connection, and I wish you the best.”
It doesn’t have to be lengthy or dramatic. A few honest words can prevent someone else from carrying the weight of confusion and self-doubt.
Above all, remember that there’s a living, breathing human being on the other end of the screen.
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