“Don’t care what other people think.”
That’s the advice we hear every time we’re rejected, excluded, or criticized: “Just stop caring.”
Yeah, good luck with that.
That’s like saying, “Just stop being human.”
Because if you’re human, it’s natural to care about what people think. That’s not a bug in the system. It is the system.
Thousands of years ago, getting kicked out of the tribe didn’t just bruise your ego—it could get you killed. Caring about what others thought was how we survived. Belonging wasn’t a nice-to-have. It was everything.
So, it’s normal to feel shaken by criticism.
Emotional wellness isn’t about avoiding these shakes. It’s about learning to gracefully shake them off—to move fluidly from chaos to calm.
Put differently, the real problem isn’t being shaken. The problem is getting stuck in that shaken state like a human snow globe.
Consider the shakes I experienced in just the past few days:
A dear friend didn’t invite me to their wedding. Ouch.
I got a lovely piece of hate mail. Classic.
A friend went quiet after I shared something vulnerable. Rattled again.
These moments stung—not just because they happened, but because I felt like they shouldn’t bother me.
Why am I letting this get to me?
Why can’t I just move on?
Why do I care this much?
Because I’m human. And so are you.
In a digital world dominated by flawless people living flawless lives, it’s easy to feel like a failure every time you’re rattled.
But being rattled isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign of life.
And life isn’t about being unshakable—that’s impossible.
It’s about recovering faster. It’s about moving through the shake instead of getting stuck in it. It’s about learning to come back to your center a little more smoothly each time.
So the next time something shakes you—and it will—don’t take it as a sign of weakness.
Take it as a sign that you’re alive, connected, and doing things that matter.
You’re not broken. You’re just in motion.
Be shaken—but not stirred.
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