Wellness gurus make it look easy.
They suggest you can glide through life, unshaken by anything and unfazed by what anyone thinks.
You’ve seen the type: Those effortlessly calm souls who creep into your Instagram feed—taking sips of their green smoothies, managing to smile through their cold plunges, and practicing yoga poses on pristine beaches at sunrise, all against a stunning backdrop.
It’s easy to buy into this vision, dreaming of a future where peace and serenity are your constant companions.
But that’s not how life works.
If you’re human, you’re going to get rattled. That’s part of the deal.
True wellness isn’t about avoiding the shakes. It’s about learning to gracefully shake them off and moving fluidly from chaos to calm.
Put differently, the real problem isn’t being shaken. The problem is getting stuck in that shaken state like a human snow globe.
Consider the shakes I experienced in just the past few days:
A dear friend didn’t invite me to their wedding. Ouch.
The stock market took a nosedive. Rattled.
Someone sent me hate mail. Classic.
Woke up at 4 am with no hope of sleep in sight. Rattled again.
Yes, these are minor shakes in the grand scheme of things, but in the past, they would have been enough to send me into a downward spiral. I would then compound the stress by wondering why these events would rattle me when everyone else seems to live in a perpetual rattle-free zone.
Here’s another familiar scene: You get rejected or someone throws unfair criticism your way.
The typical advice? “Just stop caring about what others think.”
That’s like saying, “Just stop being human.”
Our concern for others’ opinions isn’t just a social nicety; it’s ingrained in our DNA. This instinct, rooted in our evolutionary need for social bonds and group approval, has been crucial for our survival. So, it’s completely natural to feel unsettled by criticism.
Why share this? In a digital world dominated by flawless people living flawless lives, it’s easy to feel like a failure every time you’re rattled.
But being rattled isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign of life.
So the remedy isn’t to stop the shakes—that’s impossible. Rather, the key is to stop blaming yourself for being rattled and focus instead on mastering your response to these disturbances.
How quickly and fluidly can you regain your calm after being rattled? That’s what really matters.
Emotional wellness isn’t defined by unyielding serenity or perpetual happiness. It’s marked by flexibility—the ability to move from the adrenaline rush of adventure to the embrace of calm, from the uncertainty of risk to the satisfaction of reward. This fluidity allows us to experience life fully, without getting stuck in any single emotional state.
So the next time life throws you off balance, remember: the goal isn’t to avoid the shake.
It’s to be shaken, but not stirred.
It’s to learn to sway with the rhythm of life’s challenges, until the shakes become part of your dance.
